[....Damn it. He already knows he has failed to phrase this as anything other than grabbing lunch with her. Louis is gonna have his head if he doesn't... figure this out.
oh well he's got half an hour to get confused about feelings figure it out.]
[Then about half an hour later when Shinjiro arrives at the cafe, he'll find Fie already seated in a booth with a server leaving a plate in front of her. Across the table is a mug of coffee waiting for him.
She already has a bite in her mouth when she looks up and waves him over. By the time he gets there, she's swallowed it.]
Got here early, so I ordered. S'good stuff. Menu's still there for you, though.
[He really had expected Fie to get there first. She's faster in general, and who knows where in town she had been. He knows her Bracer work takes her all over the city, so he's stopped being surprised where she is.
And he had probably lost track of time somewhere while trying to wrap his head around just what the hell he's doing. Louis keeps telling him that he needs to date Fie. Suggests she likes him, that he likes her back. But then Fie had just been at the masquerade with someone else as a date-- so was this kind of shitty of him? Especially if he didn't even know if this sort of-- easy content feeling he has when hanging out with her was even close to romance at all?
(Maybe eventually he'll discover that feeling is 'happy'.)
But if nothing else, this can just be a nice lunch. He can test the waters, try and get more information. No harm in it. Right?
He nods as he slides into the seat across from her, clearly pleased with the warm mug of coffee in place.]
It's good. No reason to keep yourself hungry on my account. [Even as he talks he's shrugging off his coat-- the temperature has been dropping after the Aefenglom New-Year, so curling his fingers around the mug of coffee is nice.]
You didn't have plans with your boyfriend today? [yeah, that's fucking smooth. At least he phrases it as a half-tease, lips quirking up.]
Wasn't going to, don't worry. [She grins at him then takes another bite to emphasize how much she isn't going to wait. It's a grilled sandwich with a decent amount of filling, and it's not a small bite either. The food's delicious and warm and filling...
And forgotten when he asks that question like he does. Fie stops mid-bite and stares at him. Her eyes roll like they do when someone says something really dumb, but she has to wait to finish chewing before she can actually address it. When she does, she simply stares at him.]
I'm pretty sure you didn't wanna hang out just to ask me that. Don't prove me wrong. [So she takes another bite to prolong his dumb inquiry, determined to enjoy her meal. After that and a drink, she shakes her head.]
His name is Machias, he's not my boyfriend, and no, no plans today. Stop being weird.
[He gets the menu shoved in his direction now.]
Pick something to eat, I'm good for money this time.
[He gives an amused huff at her pointed eating, eyes flickering down to the menu for a moment. He'll pick something out, he's not too picky. And for once, he's really not self conscious about her pointed stare at what a stupid fucking question it was, because... really, he knew it was.
But it worked anyway.]
Nah, I'd just stick to text if that's all I'd wanted. Just figured I'd give you a bit of shit. [A shrug, and he brings the coffee mug up again to take a drink.]
And don't be stupid. I told you I'd get it. Just relax and get whatever you want. [Sure, he hadn't said it in as many words, but he'd implied it with saying he'd take her out to this place, right? Whatever. He had cash, and he'd been the one to invite her out, so he was going to pay for it.
When the waitress stops by, he hands over the menu, picking out some toasted sandwich of his own, before turning back to Fie.] It's about time I actually treated you, instead've the other way around.
[In regards to giving her shit, she just sticks her tongue out at him and continues eating. It's fair, they both do it often enough, but he could at least use the guy's name. Machias is important to her and deserves that much respect at least. Probably.
But when he says he'll get it, actually pay for their food, she stops and a slightly concerned expression crosses her features, brows coming together in a furrow.. Concerned and confused. This is definitely new, and she can't help but wonder why. In fact, she'll voice as much when her mouth isn't full. Like now.]
All right... [How does she even begin to broach this?] Why? Is something wrong?
[That works, too. Like her eyes, her tone is a little worried. Not nearly at panic level, but clearly picking up on something different than normal. That's not a good thing with him. Generally speaking. Fie puts her sandwich down so all her attention is focused on him.
Giving shit is one thing, but if something is genuinely wrong, she wants to know.]
[Even without their bond, the shift of expression would have been enough to clue him in to the fact that they are nowhere near on the same page. She looks so solemn, carefully setting down all distractions to turn her whole focus on him, like someone preparing themselves to either receive some terrible news, or ready to offer solace.]
...What? [Clear confusion is what she gets in return- nose wrinkling, brows creased, and then he shakes his head.] Don't tell me to stop being weird and then act all weird yourself. Everything's fine, I just wanted to ask you out.
['-to lunch' would be the intended end to that, if he'd bothered to think for two seconds on how that could come across as... whatever it likely came across as. But as though unconcerned and unaware of those implications, he just returns to his coffee.]
[Well, all right then. As long as he's fine. Fie can't help but snort at his words. She grabs her sandwich again, actually listening in a way. By now, it's about half gone.]
You can't blame me for being surprised with the way you're acting. And be careful, someone might think you're asking them on a date with that phrasing.
[Her tone's the similar type of teasing his was earlier when he mentioned her ~boyfriend~, so she fully expects him to refute her for being dumb just like she had done to him. Now she takes another bite, still smirking a little.]
[At least he didn't think he was. But then again.... he hasn't really ever asked Fie or Louis to grab lunch. Usually just makes it for them if they come over, or wanders out and lets someone else suggest it. He's not an especially proactive person.
At least his own food arrives shortly, and he's able to sit back from the table and put a bit of distance there, thinking back to his words. How someone could think he was asking them on a date, as Fie said. Which is sort of what Louis had challenged him to do, in his own way.]
Ah... yeah. Guess so.
[And maybe he should press that. That he wanted to ask her about the idea of it. Try and figure out what her actual feelings were on the idea. He knows that they're friends, that they trust one another, that sometimes when they hang out he gets (and likely also gives) that warm, attached feeling through the bond. That he knows she can handle herself and doesn't need anyone, but still wants for her to be okay. But all that feels so.... basic? Normal? Nothing like the way Iori would pine about that Strega girl, dramatically going on about... whatever.
Quietly, he'll pick up his own sandwich and take a bite.
Maybe he should just.... ask. Like a normal fucking person. Instead of trying to figure this out all on his own.]
[Fie grins a little between bites when he realizes what she's talking about. She knows he's not stupid or anything, just pretty inept when it comes to things like that. So is she, but at least she picks up on a few things. Of course there's no faulting him for it. Teasing isn't off the table, though.]
So be careful with that, you might give someone the wrong idea.
[Between her sandwich, fries, and drink, Fie's not minding any lull in conversation. There's food to keep her occupied, and Shinjiro's company is never a bad thing, even in silence. It's comfortable simply having him present, she feels at ease. That equates into her feelings, though it's not something she's thought about much since the masquerade. They had a nice moment when dancing. Almost romantic in a way. But she won't think about it in that light. She doesn't want to have any weird expectations about something that he's not even aware of. It'd just make things weird.
So instead, she's content with them like this. Bonded friends, shooting the shit and talking about personal issues and feelings in their own fitting, if not off hand, way.]
Sure, why not? I was asked to the masquerade as a date, and we had fun. Decided not to go on more, but it's not a big deal. There's no point in not trying if you think you might like someone. [Like now. He's asking about her interest in dating. It makes sense for them to get there eventually. Just smaller steps in getting to know each other better.
[It's definitely different to speak so candidly about all this. Especially knowing that she likely (if drunk-Louis could be trusted) harbored interest in him. And if he... did for her? Which he's certainly not averse to. Really, he's been thinking on it more and more, trying to wrap his brain about this stupid thing-or-not-thing between them for the past week or so.
She talks about it so casually, and maybe he's the one making this way bigger of a deal than it actually is. But he's always been pessimistic, always seen the potential for problems before the potential rewards, and that caution just won't back down.
But as though unconcerned, he shrugs, finishes another bite of his food, before asking:]
What, just like that? You don't worry you broke his heart? [--or that her own could be hurt?]
[His question has her shake her head, answering as she eats the rest of her sandwich.]
If you mean Machias, we talked. It was fun, and we're close, but now's not the right timing or something like that. [Or something like that indeed. Shinjiro won't learn the in depth reasons or the contents of their conversation. That's something between the two of them.] We're comfortable enough to not be awkward about it.
[She reaches for her glass and takes a drink, peering over the rim at him, a slightly puzzled expression in place. That won't stop her from continuing anyway. The first part was a literal example. Not sure if he meant that or something else theoretical, she chooses to address both. If they're having a heart to heart, why not make the most of it?]
Aside from that, I figure anyone interested enough to ask me isn't expecting anything exact. I'm not really the type of person most are after. [A level of self awareness is totally present. So is a hint of self deprecating humor, a little insight into her views on herself and anything beyond familial and friendly relationships. Fie won't go deeply into it, there's no need. There might just be a small sense of it through the bond, given their proximity now.]
I wouldn't expect anything either. Maybe one would be all it takes. [For there not to be a second. Because of... who knows what.]
[Both the specific and the general really do help give him context. Her and Machias and the timing not being right-- whatever that meant, something he won't ask after or pursue, and manages to explain everything while revealing nothing-- as well as that faint pang of something muddled between self-depreciation, acceptance, and levity, without managing to truly be any of the three.
It's a feeling he doesn't have to question or try and dig to understand, because it's one he's intimately familiar with. That self-acceptance of knowing that you'll never quite be something, and working hard to be fine with that.
He sets down his food for a moment, reaching out to buy himself some time by slowly bringing the coffee to his lips, trying to figure out the words before they can get completely screwed up while leaving his mouth.]
...I dunno why they wouldn't be. [It's almost hesitant, something more open than he'll usually give, and the faint touch of nerves is likely palpable both in expression and their bond.] You're fun as hell to be around. And you got your shit together in a way most people I know don't.
[His shoulders rise up, as they often do when fighting the urge to retreat, when shoving himself out of his comfort zone of background nonchalance and apathy.]
I mean, I wouldn't mind asking you out.
[It's not exactly direct, because he's practically incapable of it. But it's better than the absolute nothing of before. Baby steps. After an awkward second, cheeks and ears heating up, he'll add on:]
[The nerves and trepidation between them-- from him-- are evident as Shinjiro crosses into this unmapped potential between them. Fie feels it as soon as he starts, causing her to look at him, not over her glass or food, but directly without anything to distract or divert her attention towards instead.]
Oh. [The word slips out without much thought, betraying her own slight surprise at his confession of sorts. A large part of her wonders what brought this on. Why now? Was it the dance? Did Louis say something? Does it even matter?
The only one of those she can answer is the last one. And it's no. No, it doesn't really matter. Whatever reasoning or jump start he got to do it now, it's fine. She can tell well enough that he means it. He's thought about it, and he's still trying it. She doubts it's something he'd do unless he wanted to, not with how they already are. They've got a good thing.]
I... [Fie trails off a little. Her own feelings are gradually resurfacing while she does her best not to let them spill over through the bond too much. It's doubtful she can manage them all. A small bit of excitement, anticipation, even simple, genuine affection slip through. All but the last are foreign sensations from her side of things, as she's good about keeping them in check.
In this case, the bond serves as a useful tool for navigation, one she might be thankful for later.]
[He doesn't pull back or look away. Even as she turns all of her focus up towards him, even as the lunch and smell of baked goods and clatter of people moving about falls to something secondary, tertiary, maybe more. Now that the words are out, he's not stepping backwards, even as her words start careful and subdued.
It's absolutely a risk, and that's the fact he'd been torn on ever since Louis had introduced the idea to him. They do have a good thing right now. They give each other shit, and they have each other's backs. They press and know when to back away. Everything is fine as it is, and he doesn't want to lose a single aspect of it.
But it's not like they'd be starting over. Right? They don't have to pull back, they don't have to start from scratch and suddenly start navigating into the night with no landmarks. And so... he'd finally convinced himself to go for it.
At the hints of excitement and affection, as well as the words, his back straightens the slightest hint in a mirror of those feelings. And when his lips pull into a small smile, it's something actually awkward and honest, something he's not even truly aware of, something far less practiced than his typical teasing smirks.]
Yeah?
[After a second, he'll actually realize that... they're talking in hypotheticals. And that's kind of shitty to do to her. Right? Everyone hates not knowing. But now that the hesitation and fear had been mostly alleviated (for the moment,) he shrugs.]
Yeah. I do. [It's quick, almost too quick. She doesn't have to think of the words or pause to consider what to say. The answer is easy, like if he asked her what the weather was outside or if she liked to sleep. Her own smile slips into place, too, easy and open and void of any discomfort. In fact, she's at ease enough to reach over and steal one of his chips. He's used to it by now.]
Did you have anything in mind, or was asking enough to think about?
[There's no judgment either way. It's a pertinent question, one they'd address soon enough anyway. The feeling through the bond is more tranquil than it has been in a few weeks (dancing aside), something she hasn't noticed until this very moment. A huff of combined contentment and amusement escapes her, so she moves to take a drink.]
And thanks for asking. It makes me happy. [If he squints, there might actually be a little color to her cheeks. Maybe.] I can try and think of something, too, if you want.
[It's like hopping over a hurdle. A short moment of elation and relief at not landing flat on your face, followed immediately by the realization that this isn't exactly a finish line. There's momentum to be carried and, likely, more hurdles ahead. Especially when she asks him that as though he'd been able to think ahead to anything after this point before now.
Which he really should have, seeing as he's had ample time. But it still throws him, the immediate question that hangs about them like an invisible what next?
He watches her steal a chip, clearly unbothered, before awkwardly rolling a shoulder.]
I mean. Not especially. Thought I'd just start here and we could just... figure it out?
[But her thanks and the hint of a blush is enough to relax him from feeling like too much of a dork. After all, this is something completely new to him. It's only in the past few weeks that he'd even considered himself who could, possibly, like someone and (even more surprisingly) be liked back.]
Planning anything without knowing if you'd even be up for it seemed kinda weird, anyway. [And he's still not sure what this will mean for the relationship they already have. Other than Elliot's useless 'kissing and stuff' comment.]
But I figure neither of us are really into any sort of standard bullshit, so we can just.... do whatever.
Sounds good to me. [All of it, really. Figuring out the 'what next' and 'where to' parts of things. Fie's still pretty elated (?!) that he asked, so whatever follows is bound to be easier in a sense, now that they're both on board for at least a little. She finishes her drink, pops the last of her fries into her mouth, then slides out of her side of the booth, feet hitting the floor with a light tap.]
If you wanna finish up, I'm in the mood to take a walk now. Maybe you could even join me.
[Her eyes may as well be dancing. It's as close to an invitation as she'll give him, since their discussion means they do want to spend more time together in a slightly different way. With a small grin, she passes and adds:] You've got a really nice smile, too.
[And she's out the door, where she'll be waiting for him to finish up and pay then join her. Once he finally does, Fie looks over at him, still pretty happy. It's not a huge change, but she's somehow lighter and more animated than usual.]
I think there's a park nearby if you'd like to head that way.
[He pauses as she slides away from the table, a faint flicker of confusion and concern passing his expression for a moment at it. Not that he thinks she's retreating or trying to make space or anything. But true to form, Fie just does what she wants, deciding that she wants to head out now.]
Yeah, sure. Just-- gimme a sec.
[He'll abandon what's left of his food, but he's definitely gotta rummage in his pocket to actually pay for it. While he's counting, though, she slips in that compliment, and it's enough to make him stop for a moment.
He's not really embarrassed by it so much as thrown. (Well. Maybe a little embarrassed.) More than anything, it's something he doesn't think he's ever been told. Not that he'd ever been in a situation like this before in his life, but even so, he wouldn't have imagined something so simple and honest just catching in his chest and nestling there with a certain inexplicable warmth.
And she's gone, before he can really respond to it, and thankfully before she can catch the way his face heats up. Half flustered, half.... who knows. Either way, he shoves himself up, drains the remainder of his coffee, and goes to pay for their meal.
When he returns outside, he's pulled his coat closer about himself against the chilly late-autumn wind. And maybe it could be blamed for the tinge of red still lingering on the longer pinna of his ears, rather than his inability to process so much of what's happened in the past few minutes.]
...Sure. Parks are nice. [And it's nice to see her so carefree, a sort of relaxation that's different from the easy sort of friendship they'd had only an hour before. Maybe he's imagining it, but just the way she steps and carries herself, it seems... elated.] You got the rest of the afternoon free, right?
You didn't have to leave your food, I was going to wait for you.
[It's the first thing she says to him when he joins her outside, a slightly puzzled expression in place, like that much was a given. Fie just wants some fresh air and to give him a little space to think if he needs to do that at all. She's in no rush right now, content to stand outside and mull over what just happened. In a good way. A very good way.]
Well, it's done now anyway. Next time you can finish. [Yes, she did say next time. Meaning she already wants to do this again. That's a good sign, right? She looks over (and a little up) at him, smile same as before. Her own hands are tucked into the pockets of her coat, and she shrugs a little.]
Not anymore. I'm going to be spending it with you, right?
[There's a sort of hopeful upswing to her question, one she wouldn't have allowed to slip before their recent conversation. It's definitely something to think about. How the slight differences she's comfortable enough to portray now really allow her to express herself in little ways she wasn't quite ready for previously.
Being at ease with him and Louis is one thing. There's some vulnerability and honesty she reserves for those close to her, shown with those from her home and extended to them. The ease and swiftness of them sinking into their self appointed roles is telling, too. She can be herself around them, all peculiar, skilled, and dry humored as she wants. There's nothing stopping her.
But this is somehow a little different than all of those. By asking what he did or even confirming anything else, Fie's able to share another piece of her with someone important. It might be too soon in some aspects, possibly, yet she's letting herself try it, which is a new experience for her as it is now.]
Don't worry about it. I wasn't exactly here for the food, anyway.
[He probably could have stayed and finished but-- really, that felt weirder to him than just leaving it and following her out. Space to think only leaves him turning in circles in his own thoughts half the time, and it's something he'll be more than able to accomplish later. Right now he still has trouble believing that this is real and working out and so damn normal feeling, and there's that irrational feeling that the moment he looks away it will be gone.
It will definitely take time to wrap his head around. He'd been so fixated and worried about how to get to this point- or even if he should- that now that he's here.... he's not sure what to do about it.
But those small smiles of hers and the hopeful tone of her voice helps ease it and remove the worry of doing something wrong. Like they'd agreed, they were on the same page now, and would just see where it took them. Not everything had to have a neat storyline. Things could always be written and changes as they went.
At her affirmation that they'd be spending the afternoon together, there's another unconscious flicker of a smile, something short but honest, even as he shoves his hands into his own pockets to keep them warm against the chill of the wind.]
--Yeah. Guess so. I ain't got anywhere to be either, so there's no rush. [Thankfully her hands in her pockets (and his following suit) had removed one uncertainty-- whether or not anything should immediately change to reflect what they were talking about, any overt gestures. Being bonded, physical contact isn't unheard of at all-- But it's always just been something casual.
Regardless, he does step closer, the line of his body not quite touching hers, but letting them walk side by side towards the park, enjoying that faint affection and flickering excitement occasional filtering through the bond- though he wouldn't be able to tell which of them it was coming from even were he asked.] I ain't spent a whole lot of time down this way. You go out to this place often?
[He's assuming to nap. Parks are usually pretty good for that. But who knows, maybe her work brings her here too.]
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[....Damn it. He already knows he has failed to phrase this as anything other than grabbing lunch with her. Louis is gonna have his head if he doesn't... figure this out.
oh well he's got half an hour to
get confused about feelingsfigure it out.]no subject
She already has a bite in her mouth when she looks up and waves him over. By the time he gets there, she's swallowed it.]
Got here early, so I ordered. S'good stuff. Menu's still there for you, though.
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And he had probably lost track of time somewhere while trying to wrap his head around just what the hell he's doing. Louis keeps telling him that he needs to date Fie. Suggests she likes him, that he likes her back. But then Fie had just been at the masquerade with someone else as a date-- so was this kind of shitty of him? Especially if he didn't even know if this sort of-- easy content feeling he has when hanging out with her was even close to romance at all?
(Maybe eventually he'll discover that feeling is 'happy'.)
But if nothing else, this can just be a nice lunch. He can test the waters, try and get more information. No harm in it. Right?
He nods as he slides into the seat across from her, clearly pleased with the warm mug of coffee in place.]
It's good. No reason to keep yourself hungry on my account. [Even as he talks he's shrugging off his coat-- the temperature has been dropping after the Aefenglom New-Year, so curling his fingers around the mug of coffee is nice.]
You didn't have plans with your boyfriend today? [yeah, that's fucking smooth. At least he phrases it as a half-tease, lips quirking up.]
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And forgotten when he asks that question like he does. Fie stops mid-bite and stares at him. Her eyes roll like they do when someone says something really dumb, but she has to wait to finish chewing before she can actually address it. When she does, she simply stares at him.]
I'm pretty sure you didn't wanna hang out just to ask me that. Don't prove me wrong. [So she takes another bite to prolong his dumb inquiry, determined to enjoy her meal. After that and a drink, she shakes her head.]
His name is Machias, he's not my boyfriend, and no, no plans today. Stop being weird.
[He gets the menu shoved in his direction now.]
Pick something to eat, I'm good for money this time.
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But it worked anyway.]
Nah, I'd just stick to text if that's all I'd wanted. Just figured I'd give you a bit of shit. [A shrug, and he brings the coffee mug up again to take a drink.]
And don't be stupid. I told you I'd get it. Just relax and get whatever you want. [Sure, he hadn't said it in as many words, but he'd implied it with saying he'd take her out to this place, right? Whatever. He had cash, and he'd been the one to invite her out, so he was going to pay for it.
When the waitress stops by, he hands over the menu, picking out some toasted sandwich of his own, before turning back to Fie.] It's about time I actually treated you, instead've the other way around.
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But when he says he'll get it, actually pay for their food, she stops and a slightly concerned expression crosses her features, brows coming together in a furrow.. Concerned and confused. This is definitely new, and she can't help but wonder why. In fact, she'll voice as much when her mouth isn't full. Like now.]
All right... [How does she even begin to broach this?] Why? Is something wrong?
[That works, too. Like her eyes, her tone is a little worried. Not nearly at panic level, but clearly picking up on something different than normal. That's not a good thing with him. Generally speaking. Fie puts her sandwich down so all her attention is focused on him.
Giving shit is one thing, but if something is genuinely wrong, she wants to know.]
You're okay, right?
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...What? [Clear confusion is what she gets in return- nose wrinkling, brows creased, and then he shakes his head.] Don't tell me to stop being weird and then act all weird yourself. Everything's fine, I just wanted to ask you out.
['-to lunch' would be the intended end to that, if he'd bothered to think for two seconds on how that could come across as... whatever it likely came across as. But as though unconcerned and unaware of those implications, he just returns to his coffee.]
Don't let your sandwich get all cold.
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You can't blame me for being surprised with the way you're acting. And be careful, someone might think you're asking them on a date with that phrasing.
[Her tone's the similar type of teasing his was earlier when he mentioned her ~boyfriend~, so she fully expects him to refute her for being dumb just like she had done to him. Now she takes another bite, still smirking a little.]
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[At least he didn't think he was. But then again.... he hasn't really ever asked Fie or Louis to grab lunch. Usually just makes it for them if they come over, or wanders out and lets someone else suggest it. He's not an especially proactive person.
At least his own food arrives shortly, and he's able to sit back from the table and put a bit of distance there, thinking back to his words. How someone could think he was asking them on a date, as Fie said. Which is sort of what Louis had challenged him to do, in his own way.]
Ah... yeah. Guess so.
[And maybe he should press that. That he wanted to ask her about the idea of it. Try and figure out what her actual feelings were on the idea. He knows that they're friends, that they trust one another, that sometimes when they hang out he gets (and likely also gives) that warm, attached feeling through the bond. That he knows she can handle herself and doesn't need anyone, but still wants for her to be okay. But all that feels so.... basic? Normal? Nothing like the way Iori would pine about that Strega girl, dramatically going on about... whatever.
Quietly, he'll pick up his own sandwich and take a bite.
Maybe he should just.... ask. Like a normal fucking person. Instead of trying to figure this out all on his own.]
Would you want to? Be asked?
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So be careful with that, you might give someone the wrong idea.
[Between her sandwich, fries, and drink, Fie's not minding any lull in conversation. There's food to keep her occupied, and Shinjiro's company is never a bad thing, even in silence. It's comfortable simply having him present, she feels at ease. That equates into her feelings, though it's not something she's thought about much since the masquerade. They had a nice moment when dancing. Almost romantic in a way. But she won't think about it in that light. She doesn't want to have any weird expectations about something that he's not even aware of. It'd just make things weird.
So instead, she's content with them like this. Bonded friends, shooting the shit and talking about personal issues and feelings in their own fitting, if not off hand, way.]
Sure, why not? I was asked to the masquerade as a date, and we had fun. Decided not to go on more, but it's not a big deal. There's no point in not trying if you think you might like someone. [Like now. He's asking about her interest in dating. It makes sense for them to get there eventually. Just smaller steps in getting to know each other better.
Even Fie's allowed to be an idiot sometimes.]
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She talks about it so casually, and maybe he's the one making this way bigger of a deal than it actually is. But he's always been pessimistic, always seen the potential for problems before the potential rewards, and that caution just won't back down.
But as though unconcerned, he shrugs, finishes another bite of his food, before asking:]
What, just like that? You don't worry you broke his heart? [--or that her own could be hurt?]
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If you mean Machias, we talked. It was fun, and we're close, but now's not the right timing or something like that. [Or something like that indeed. Shinjiro won't learn the in depth reasons or the contents of their conversation. That's something between the two of them.] We're comfortable enough to not be awkward about it.
[She reaches for her glass and takes a drink, peering over the rim at him, a slightly puzzled expression in place. That won't stop her from continuing anyway. The first part was a literal example. Not sure if he meant that or something else theoretical, she chooses to address both. If they're having a heart to heart, why not make the most of it?]
Aside from that, I figure anyone interested enough to ask me isn't expecting anything exact. I'm not really the type of person most are after. [A level of self awareness is totally present. So is a hint of self deprecating humor, a little insight into her views on herself and anything beyond familial and friendly relationships. Fie won't go deeply into it, there's no need. There might just be a small sense of it through the bond, given their proximity now.]
I wouldn't expect anything either. Maybe one would be all it takes. [For there not to be a second. Because of... who knows what.]
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It's a feeling he doesn't have to question or try and dig to understand, because it's one he's intimately familiar with. That self-acceptance of knowing that you'll never quite be something, and working hard to be fine with that.
He sets down his food for a moment, reaching out to buy himself some time by slowly bringing the coffee to his lips, trying to figure out the words before they can get completely screwed up while leaving his mouth.]
...I dunno why they wouldn't be. [It's almost hesitant, something more open than he'll usually give, and the faint touch of nerves is likely palpable both in expression and their bond.] You're fun as hell to be around. And you got your shit together in a way most people I know don't.
[His shoulders rise up, as they often do when fighting the urge to retreat, when shoving himself out of his comfort zone of background nonchalance and apathy.]
I mean, I wouldn't mind asking you out.
[It's not exactly direct, because he's practically incapable of it. But it's better than the absolute nothing of before. Baby steps. After an awkward second, cheeks and ears heating up, he'll add on:]
It'd be. Nice. I think.
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Oh. [The word slips out without much thought, betraying her own slight surprise at his confession of sorts. A large part of her wonders what brought this on. Why now? Was it the dance? Did Louis say something? Does it even matter?
The only one of those she can answer is the last one. And it's no. No, it doesn't really matter. Whatever reasoning or jump start he got to do it now, it's fine. She can tell well enough that he means it. He's thought about it, and he's still trying it. She doubts it's something he'd do unless he wanted to, not with how they already are. They've got a good thing.]
I... [Fie trails off a little. Her own feelings are gradually resurfacing while she does her best not to let them spill over through the bond too much. It's doubtful she can manage them all. A small bit of excitement, anticipation, even simple, genuine affection slip through. All but the last are foreign sensations from her side of things, as she's good about keeping them in check.
In this case, the bond serves as a useful tool for navigation, one she might be thankful for later.]
I wouldn't mind saying yes. If you did.
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It's absolutely a risk, and that's the fact he'd been torn on ever since Louis had introduced the idea to him. They do have a good thing right now. They give each other shit, and they have each other's backs. They press and know when to back away. Everything is fine as it is, and he doesn't want to lose a single aspect of it.
But it's not like they'd be starting over. Right? They don't have to pull back, they don't have to start from scratch and suddenly start navigating into the night with no landmarks. And so... he'd finally convinced himself to go for it.
At the hints of excitement and affection, as well as the words, his back straightens the slightest hint in a mirror of those feelings. And when his lips pull into a small smile, it's something actually awkward and honest, something he's not even truly aware of, something far less practiced than his typical teasing smirks.]
Yeah?
[After a second, he'll actually realize that... they're talking in hypotheticals. And that's kind of shitty to do to her. Right? Everyone hates not knowing. But now that the hesitation and fear had been mostly alleviated (for the moment,) he shrugs.]
So. You wanna? Go out, I mean?
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Did you have anything in mind, or was asking enough to think about?
[There's no judgment either way. It's a pertinent question, one they'd address soon enough anyway. The feeling through the bond is more tranquil than it has been in a few weeks (dancing aside), something she hasn't noticed until this very moment. A huff of combined contentment and amusement escapes her, so she moves to take a drink.]
And thanks for asking. It makes me happy. [If he squints, there might actually be a little color to her cheeks. Maybe.] I can try and think of something, too, if you want.
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Which he really should have, seeing as he's had ample time. But it still throws him, the immediate question that hangs about them like an invisible what next?
He watches her steal a chip, clearly unbothered, before awkwardly rolling a shoulder.]
I mean. Not especially. Thought I'd just start here and we could just... figure it out?
[But her thanks and the hint of a blush is enough to relax him from feeling like too much of a dork. After all, this is something completely new to him. It's only in the past few weeks that he'd even considered himself who could, possibly, like someone and (even more surprisingly) be liked back.]
Planning anything without knowing if you'd even be up for it seemed kinda weird, anyway. [And he's still not sure what this will mean for the relationship they already have. Other than Elliot's useless 'kissing and stuff' comment.]
But I figure neither of us are really into any sort of standard bullshit, so we can just.... do whatever.
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If you wanna finish up, I'm in the mood to take a walk now. Maybe you could even join me.
[Her eyes may as well be dancing. It's as close to an invitation as she'll give him, since their discussion means they do want to spend more time together in a slightly different way. With a small grin, she passes and adds:] You've got a really nice smile, too.
[And she's out the door, where she'll be waiting for him to finish up and pay then join her. Once he finally does, Fie looks over at him, still pretty happy. It's not a huge change, but she's somehow lighter and more animated than usual.]
I think there's a park nearby if you'd like to head that way.
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Yeah, sure. Just-- gimme a sec.
[He'll abandon what's left of his food, but he's definitely gotta rummage in his pocket to actually pay for it. While he's counting, though, she slips in that compliment, and it's enough to make him stop for a moment.
He's not really embarrassed by it so much as thrown. (Well. Maybe a little embarrassed.) More than anything, it's something he doesn't think he's ever been told. Not that he'd ever been in a situation like this before in his life, but even so, he wouldn't have imagined something so simple and honest just catching in his chest and nestling there with a certain inexplicable warmth.
And she's gone, before he can really respond to it, and thankfully before she can catch the way his face heats up. Half flustered, half.... who knows. Either way, he shoves himself up, drains the remainder of his coffee, and goes to pay for their meal.
When he returns outside, he's pulled his coat closer about himself against the chilly late-autumn wind. And maybe it could be blamed for the tinge of red still lingering on the longer pinna of his ears, rather than his inability to process so much of what's happened in the past few minutes.]
...Sure. Parks are nice. [And it's nice to see her so carefree, a sort of relaxation that's different from the easy sort of friendship they'd had only an hour before. Maybe he's imagining it, but just the way she steps and carries herself, it seems... elated.] You got the rest of the afternoon free, right?
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[It's the first thing she says to him when he joins her outside, a slightly puzzled expression in place, like that much was a given. Fie just wants some fresh air and to give him a little space to think if he needs to do that at all. She's in no rush right now, content to stand outside and mull over what just happened. In a good way. A very good way.]
Well, it's done now anyway. Next time you can finish. [Yes, she did say next time. Meaning she already wants to do this again. That's a good sign, right? She looks over (and a little up) at him, smile same as before. Her own hands are tucked into the pockets of her coat, and she shrugs a little.]
Not anymore. I'm going to be spending it with you, right?
[There's a sort of hopeful upswing to her question, one she wouldn't have allowed to slip before their recent conversation. It's definitely something to think about. How the slight differences she's comfortable enough to portray now really allow her to express herself in little ways she wasn't quite ready for previously.
Being at ease with him and Louis is one thing. There's some vulnerability and honesty she reserves for those close to her, shown with those from her home and extended to them. The ease and swiftness of them sinking into their self appointed roles is telling, too. She can be herself around them, all peculiar, skilled, and dry humored as she wants. There's nothing stopping her.
But this is somehow a little different than all of those. By asking what he did or even confirming anything else, Fie's able to share another piece of her with someone important. It might be too soon in some aspects, possibly, yet she's letting herself try it, which is a new experience for her as it is now.]
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[He probably could have stayed and finished but-- really, that felt weirder to him than just leaving it and following her out. Space to think only leaves him turning in circles in his own thoughts half the time, and it's something he'll be more than able to accomplish later. Right now he still has trouble believing that this is real and working out and so damn normal feeling, and there's that irrational feeling that the moment he looks away it will be gone.
It will definitely take time to wrap his head around. He'd been so fixated and worried about how to get to this point- or even if he should- that now that he's here.... he's not sure what to do about it.
But those small smiles of hers and the hopeful tone of her voice helps ease it and remove the worry of doing something wrong. Like they'd agreed, they were on the same page now, and would just see where it took them. Not everything had to have a neat storyline. Things could always be written and changes as they went.
At her affirmation that they'd be spending the afternoon together, there's another unconscious flicker of a smile, something short but honest, even as he shoves his hands into his own pockets to keep them warm against the chill of the wind.]
--Yeah. Guess so. I ain't got anywhere to be either, so there's no rush. [Thankfully her hands in her pockets (and his following suit) had removed one uncertainty-- whether or not anything should immediately change to reflect what they were talking about, any overt gestures. Being bonded, physical contact isn't unheard of at all-- But it's always just been something casual.
Regardless, he does step closer, the line of his body not quite touching hers, but letting them walk side by side towards the park, enjoying that faint affection and flickering excitement occasional filtering through the bond- though he wouldn't be able to tell which of them it was coming from even were he asked.] I ain't spent a whole lot of time down this way. You go out to this place often?
[He's assuming to nap. Parks are usually pretty good for that. But who knows, maybe her work brings her here too.]